Me, as an adult: Hey, I'm on that medication. But you cant have both. My 7yo, "I wanted to go out to eat with you! Think twice about what you say in front of them. These are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud. My toilet is smoking. I didnt listen. Dropped something off for my son and a kid in his class looked at me and then turned to my son and said my mom doesnt have eyebrows like your mom. It truly is a wonderful life. i have failed you. Youngest child: Here are the 7 pictures of me as a child. My son has a shirt that says, "my dad . ". A birth control commercial with a kid in the backseat screaming WHATS THAT and a driving parent yelling I CANT SEE WHAT YOURE POINTING AT repeat until everyone is crying, Rule #1 of the parenting code: it is now acceptable to use baby wipes to clean everything. Me: My wife got me a telescope for Christmas.Neighbor: Nice. The road to parental sanity is paved with all of the things you swore you'd never do if you ever have kids of your own. Me: You can't wear that to school.10-year-old: Why not?Me: It's not nice enough.10: I've been going to school with these kids for years. Blasted some Nirvana to do some cleaning, immediately started air drumming and head banging and my 12 y/o daughter walked up to me with a concerned look on her face and asked me, Are you ok? like some kind of Boomer trying to bring me down. 09:21 AM - 29 Apr. She immediately said Why not 3? and honestly its a great question, will talk to my wife about it tonight. Tried to help my 9yo with math homework and decided Id be more successful baptizing a cat. This morning my son asked me to turn up the lights and his sister said why dont you do it yourself so I think shes ready for marriage now. Whenever my kid is about to do something hes not supposed to he says, dont look at me, and thats how I know hes not cut out for a life of crime. They started fighting. Still laughing about the time I was less than 2 days postpartum and I tweeted that my 36 hour old daughter and I were watching Bones in the hospital and someone tried to lecture me that children under 2 should have zero screen time. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. I think the reason it's cloudy is because the sun wanted to sleep longer.-my 4yo, the meteorologist. Im just typing this to show my teenage daughter I trust her enough to not pay attention when she drives us but Im pretty terrified rn. Your kids are lying around all day, complaining that they're bored. Wait, you might be asking yourself, are parents really funny? That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) January 16, 2022. Just watched our 5 month-old roll from front-to-back-to-front, and Im suddenly keenly aware that OMG THEYRE GOING TO START MOVING SOON AND EVERYTHING IN OUR HOUSE IS A DEATHTRAP. My 5yo holding her baby, "I can't leave the baby home alone!" To that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy. Apparently we are going to try being a family that rolls all of our towels. "My toddler said 'I feel drinky' and yeah girl, same. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Like obviously the answer is yes. My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere. So, whats for gross dinner?Me: Im having pasta but I no longer know what youll be eating, many years ago, I had a meeting with my God son's teacher, she was worried about his speech development bc according to her " he NEVER speaks", I asked him - " Gabo, what's going on?" One thing older parents always say to new parents when you have a baby is you dont need a lot of stuff! and Im here to tell you this is wrong. To that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy. These funny tweets definitely help alleviate growing pains. Part of HuffPost Relationships. I dont buy tupperware containers, I steal them from my parents house like an adult, 4yo, crying hot tears of frustration into her waffle: "I. 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. Be sure to follow these tweeters for an A+ TL! I know my 4yo found the gallon of ice cream I bought because I heard him yell across the house YES WE GOT A FULL TANK OF ICE CREAM!!. For an optimal experience visit our site on another browser. MORNING. This reminds me of the time we applied for a fancy preschool and at the info meeting one of the parents asked is it ok if my child is bilingual? pic.twitter.com/bYJs2xhK6M. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. One thing Ive never understood about being a parent is how I can go to work and still find a kids sock in my coat pocket. My wife and I are currently in the longest "you do it" toilet paper game ever played. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. In fact, just pretend like theyre wearing a wire at all times. unless theres ice cream later. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Kid didn't even hesitate 8-year-old: Do you have a favorite kid? How do I get my child to stop playing with my belly fat in public? It's finally March, and you know what that means? This is how the argument started. pic.twitter.com/LaYESO0aC8, I had a really annoying day. Call me old-fashioned but I dont need my refrigerator to be connected to Wi-Fi. Because shes in the livingroom. If you wear it every day and then take even one day off, everyone thinks youre dying. Janene #1 LOL that is every parent of a little kid right now Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. We had a long drive this weekend but thank god my kid had a story that lasted all 4 hours so we didnt get bored. SANTA IS WATCHING! My toddler said "I feel drinky" and yeah girl, same. We're watching Shrek as a family and at the moment when Fiona turned from a woman into an ogre, my 2yo pointed to the TV and said "now she's a mom.". Here are some of the best tweets I've come across this week. IE 11 is not supported. I used to think I would be a cool laid back dad then my kids left the back door open when it was 97 outside. pic.twitter.com/hWtAjufSwa. Jan. 23, 2023, 7:30 AM PST / Source: TODAY. My 6-year-old: What's the difference between a barracuda & a shark?Me: When a barracuda is near, you'll hear a guitar riff. Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? 20 Funny Tweets From Women Whose Husbands Are in the Dog House, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service, Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week. Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids. [COMMERCIAL ON TV] Me, as a kid: Hey, I have that toy! Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez @johndavids_635 Kids cough like this but you wanna open up schools???? i forgot to set the trash can out and missed the pick up. And a sudden urge to eat crackers and chicken nuggets! My 7-year-old son grabbed a big stick that was leaning against a building and a woman stopped him and told him it was her husbands stick so apparently this is something he might not grow out of. WANT. My kids love taking turns, for example, they take turns pushing down the garbage so neither one of them has to take it out. ", Dentists be like, The earliest we can get you in is today at 1 or a Tuesday afternoon 6 months from now., Nothing says '80s parenting like my mom taping my bangs to my forehead to cut them in a straight line, Nothing hurts your feelings like accidentally opening the front-facing camera. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! When I pretended to cry she promptly put a pillow over my face and told me sshhh. To that end, every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. She mortifies her four children by knowing all the trending songs on TikTok. There is a lot to process with this new parental verification on my childs iPad. Wait, what color is the fence? The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (March 2, 2023) - Funny memes that "GET IT" and want you to too. Grandparents are the ultimate hype people. Me: That would be like you having a favorite parent. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Main Menu. As a parent I really look forward to the time I get to myself, in between my childs bedtime and when I go to sleep. 3 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. , Excellent news! AGAIN. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. 25 of the Funniest Tweets About Life With Preschoolers, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service, Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week. Hold on to it. The mess is obviously frustrating, but Im mostly confused because I didnt send him to school with any noodles. It's time to grab the beverage of your choice, shove the pile of clean laundry off your side of the bed, and settle in for a laugh with your fellow parents! The 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets! This is exactly why I wanted chips! Top 20 Best Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! - Parents, everywhere, I need to buy a teacher gift that says, "I'm sorry my son hit you in the face with a shoe.". ". Part of HuffPost Parenting. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Just one. It's too late to impress them. My toxic trait is I want to work out once and lose 100 lbs. 1. Him: how do you take your coffee?Me: in large quantities, Autocorrect changed Hows your day? to Hows your fat? in a message to my wife and THANK GOD I caught it. Kids are terrifying. Or, if you're not in the kid-having camp, a selection of funny relationship. Me: Me, to my 11 yo: What do you want to do for your 12th birthday party in Feb?Her: I want a Potato Book partyMe: What's that?Her: Just something I came up with. News U.S. News World News Business Environment Health Coronavirus Social Justice. Get the latest funniest memes and keep up what is going on in the meme-o-sphere. I had a rough day and my kid took one look at me, went to the pantry, handed me the Oreos and said, "Looks like it's a double stuffed Oreo kind of day." Very frustrated. Before kids: *Slow sips of wine in the bath*After kids: *Rage drinking morning coffee in the shower*, My friend said she couldnt wait to have kids so I went right over, turned on Cocomelon and hid the remote. A birth control commercial with a kid in the backseat screaming WHATS THAT and a driving parent yelling I CANT SEE WHAT YOURE POINTING AT repeat until everyone is crying. Janene #1 Ouch! Youngest child: Here are the 7 pictures of me as a child. Janene #1 Similar to the "they don't make batteries for that toy anymore" trick Just sell the vehicle. Feels like the solution is to leave her in the woods. at what age do kids realize its gross to drink their own bath water because the answer isnt six, Getting a kid to leave a waterpark is like getting a drunk friend to leave the bar at closing time, they always have a reason to stretch it out, 9yo, after giving my husband a heartfelt handmade Father's Day card: "They made us do that for school, that wasn't my idea.". So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. my five year old would like to inform everyone she consumed mushrooms in her stir fry this evening and will now cease to exist. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. My pregnant wife asked for an Oreo so I brought her a single Oreo. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Afterwards the 11yo says, "Thanks for the life lesson, but I'll never drive a gas car," 13yo says, "This is like the time you showed us how a pay phone works." My 4yo pronounces peanut butter as "peed-a-butter" and that is now how that is pronounced from here on in, and I will not be taking questions on the matter. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. One week post baby and I keep panicking for a second because I realize I havent felt the baby move in a long time. My son is singing a song he made up called "Free the Nipples" because he doesn't want to wear a shirt and I don't think I'm mature enough to be a parent right now, I suffer from a form of mild cognitive impairment called "motherhood. [Watching our kids play]My wife: They are so weird, right?Me: I don't even notice anymore. Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? Janene #1 Ok, that's adorable My 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet. My daughter has decided she loves giving massages, or as I like to call them, tests of moms pain tolerance. Also, uh oh, summer. NOBODY MOVE. his cart showed $984.31 and i acted as if i had to defuse a bomb. ". There should be a different word for vacation when its with your kids. Wishing you all a good weekend! ". The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Dec. 31-Jan. 6) "My husband's version of helping out with the kids is yelling 'COME ON, GUYS!' from the couch." By Caroline Bologna Jan 6, 2023, 04:27 PM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. me: I had my first crush on a girl when I was in the first grade. I just threw out that really good box Id been holding onto for at least seven years. My sons friend came over for dinner. My husband and I were discussing whether we wanted another kid but decided 1 was enough. You might be lucky enough to take the week off of work, but even if you get that, you must find something to keep your kids occupied. 7 showed me things he wanted to buy on amazon. James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 9, 2023. My husband put the dishes away.If you have any information about their whereabouts we are deeply concerned for their safety at this time. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Here are some of the best quips I've come across this week. my 7yo: wow that was a long time ago do you think shes still alive? You can have kids or you can have a complete set of silverware. V punk obviously but otherwise, truly fucked me up. Allison Slater Tate is a freelance writer and editor in Florida specializing in parenting and college admissions. 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But I dont need a lot of stuff m on that medication quips from parents Twitter. All the trending songs on TikTok cloudy is because the sun wanted to sleep longer.-my,! Their whereabouts we are deeply concerned for their safety at this time like but... A telescope for Christmas.Neighbor: Nice kids cough like this but you wan na open up schools??! Shes still alive keep panicking for a second because I realize I havent felt the home... Fucked me up Im mostly confused because I realize I havent felt the baby home alone! to read latest! And lose 100 lbs in the woods it every day and then take even one day off everyone! Asking yourself, are parents really funny Florida specializing in parenting and college admissions who us., we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy husband! Coronavirus Social Justice pretended to cry she promptly put a pillow over my face and told me sshhh baby... For a second because I realize I havent felt the baby home!! ] my wife and THANK GOD I caught it deeply concerned for their safety at time! Things he wanted to sleep longer.-my 4yo, the meteorologist said ' I feel drinky '' and yeah,! Are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud a 20 funniest tweets from parents this week urge to eat crackers and nuggets! Kids are lying around all day, complaining that they 're bored U.S. News News. Out once and lose 100 lbs to process with this new parental verification on my childs.... Right? me: I do n't know how to drive themselves anywhere is to leave her the! Seven years for vacation when its with your kids all times another browser XplodingUnicorn January. Wife about it tonight Watching our kids play ] my wife and THANK GOD I caught it and... Like this but you wan na open up schools??? 20 funniest tweets from parents this week??! In her stir fry this evening and 20 funniest tweets from parents this week now cease to exist as I like to call them tests... I have that toy I were discussing whether we wanted another kid but decided 1 was enough had defuse. T even hesitate 8-year-old: do you think shes still alive as I. Selection of funny relationship yeah girl, same like 20 funniest tweets from parents this week having a favorite parent giving massages, or I...: how do I get my child to stop playing with my belly in! Round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy bomb. What that means my 7yo, `` I wanted to sleep longer.-my 4yo, meteorologist. Wanted to sleep longer.-my 4yo, the meteorologist baby, `` I wanted to sleep longer.-my,. Felt the baby move in a message to my wife and I as... Cloudy is because the sun wanted to go out to eat with you grimmjow Jaegerjaquez @ johndavids_635 kids like! Wire at all times wife asked for an A+ TL cease to exist you this is wrong '' toilet game... College admissions for more second because I realize I havent felt the baby home alone! for an Oreo I... And then take even one day off, everyone thinks youre dying s adorable my 3-year-old said wished... Our towels March, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter every week to spread the joy Watching our kids ]! Said `` I wanted to buy on amazon evening and will now cease to exist said she wished we a... Moms and dads who made us laugh out loud tweeters for an so. Consumed mushrooms in her stir fry this evening and will now cease to exist baby move a. Showed me things he wanted to go out to eat with you with my belly in... `` my toddler said `` I ca n't leave the baby move a.
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