I totally agree with you. This sea change happened literally within two hours of my last encounter with one of them, and it wasnt something I did gradually (though it was probably simmering at the back of my mind without my being aware of it). Ive dated a person with NPD and have 2 family members with NPD. (2017). Its ok to have an ex-family. As for hearing from God that a narcissist changed? Reading Suggestion: Can a Narcissist fall in love? When they have pulled every trick in the book, and they still can't control you, expect your narcissistic partner to pull a disappearing act on you. It makes other people miserable, wounds and traumatises but I dont believe it can be turned on by environment in susceptible genes. I just suddenly realized that my encounters with them always left me feeling miserable. Decades of my life lost forever, my healthseverely compromised! What happened here? Im trying to get myself back together mentally so I can figure out the next step to get away from him. In Retrospect 1214044 Records DK Released on. I understand what they are, but I dont understand why they are. They cannot control you if you dont listen. The word is that he was like Typhoid Mary, causing destruction everywhere he went. Two and a half years after going no contact and filing a restraining order on her to keep her away from me, I am finally almost fully healed from the trauma. Less is more. Reading Suggestion: How to Make a Narcissist Come Crawling Back? Great article. My son and his father purposely antagonise one another and seem to enjoy both riling each other up AND getting riled up. Our daughter had a life saving op so ill yet daughter managed to see our grandchild but after said meeting narc yet again knowing our daughter had gone through life saving organ donation and seeing her scar has been blocked and ghosted again possibly because our son was wanting to care and meet his sister. They dont commit to anyone because they dont want to invest all their time or energy into just one person. I am even ready to lose any shared Assets. Narcissists tell the same type of lies. Narcissistic people see other people in their environment as extensions of themselves. I just dont care about what ever he does now. All friends of the opposite sex were alway platonic but that never stopped the embarrassing flirting that never made any sense. In this case, you will probably never see them again. Because of his lies Im living in a room at my sons house because I was a housewife and didnt get an education while I was raising children as the judge put it. Your impression that females think it is only males that can be narcissists is absolutely wrong. Hi Jen. 5. take your son on a trip together. for you can never miss something youve never felt.nor grieve for the loss of someone you never loved., They will isolate you from support, destroy your things, kill what you love, blame you for their behavior, and abuse you. Hell say whatever he needs to in order to get what he wants and really, it has nothing to do with you at all. To create a whole new life and pretend he never created and brainwashed us. Love bombing. When I felt really bad about it and told my husband, he spoke to his sister, but she just denied it trying to make him believe that your wife lies about your little sister and you blindly believe it? Truly, it is always preferable to be alone than surrounded by narcissists and or their minions. What Happens to the Body When Peanut Butter is Eaten Regularly. I completely agree Robert. Usually, they find people-pleasing types who dont want to deal with excessive conflict or distress. And Roger, you and Robert have made some of the most accurate descriptions I have seen online about narcissists. A tone of contempt is a particularly strong narcissistic indicator, as is the inability to listen. My son in law has all but destroyed us, our daughter and our 2 beautiful grandchildren 4 and 7- we are all his victims. Youre right- lets do something about it tonight. Learn how your comment data is processed. I feel sorry for her, but I feel better about my mother now. Every attempt (and the amount of lies that went into it) to make my relationship with my husband, with his relatives and with my relatives, weak, made me realise how really low their characters were. Im mad at myself that this still hurts me. Ending the relationship may feel painful, but staying in this toxic pattern will probably cause you even more harm. Reading Suggestion: How to start Ignoring a Narcissist? I decided to disappear from the man. 'I understand . I desperately need counseling to help me not lose my mind over my narcissistic daughter and not seeing my grandchildren! I alternated between feeling guilty, feeling sorry for him, but not trusting him, as he was in his 80s by that time, but the things he was saying and doing according to my brothers made me not want a relationship with him. Why are you wasting so much energy trying to fix or change a problematic dynamic? Remember that they are banking on finding people who will cosign their personalities. How does a Narcissist react when they cant control you anymore? They ARE very much predictable. Am I abandoned now? But you drink a lot ! Just beware people like us have a tendency to attract them. I have two sons; both high IQ but one diagnosed as on the autism spectrum and the other (far more difficult one) seems to share traits across the ASD/ADHD spectrum but the way they manifest is quite different. Then, to ensure that you know, the narcissist will tell you exactly what theyve done, but pretend as if it was a dreadful mistake. I have a friend who is a vulnerable narcissist. Learning each and every one of their play by play shots is a very painful thing that most victims of narcs suffer through greatly, but once you do, you are empowered to stop them dead in their tracks. Loving a narcissist means a world of hurt for you because s/he will never love you back and it opens you up to potentially devastating harm. We've all heard that old adage, "If you don't love yourself, you can't love anybody else." It may be old but it's also true, and the narcissist is a perfect example of it. We have stayed on fone for literally 4 straight days. Could it be caused by emotional abuse from a father? 7. They dont care about what you think is best. 3. get physical distance from her. (2.) You know what passive aggression feels like. When we hang up I cry almost til he calls again. It makes sense that hed also be mentally and physically abusive. The only solution to the never ending problems was to go no contact. that HURT! Thats what a lot of what people are talking about when they talk about narcissism.. Why? That funny that you would run with your hair on fire.I tell people if they were able to plug in my head like a computer ,they would run down the street with their Brain on firer. This relationship was never meant to be a partnership and everything he does is to suit his agenda. Thank you Mark. They had complete control over his emotions. Value yourself, your private time, your peace and know that you are precious to God. They really are wired up differently. He cheated on his ailing wife with the sister of one of his (previous) interview people. Let me gaslight you some more so you second-guess yourself. 1. get counseling, work on your trauma. I think there are more narcissistic disordered people in this world, then what mental health professionals think. My theory is that they hide it better. A good sign a man is in love with a woman is when he goes out of his way to make you happy. Nursing Career. The most evil in my life was our mother and grandmothers (on both sides of the family). It made me face my own abuse by my narc mother and dig deep to regain my self worth in recovery. Good or bad its still energy. My husband got a job in a different country, and I joined him along with my daughter. Greedy, lazy selfish, lie, cowards addicts . hi to Robert, Roger, and Shelley, and Sheila who have submitted to comments on narcissists I had a terrible childhood too, for as long as I could remember, she was the worse person to me and my sister she hated my mom that is one of her sisters because she didnt know how to do things, she was a very nervous sort of person and my aunt took advantage of that Then , a ex- boyfriend of 13 years dumped me and I am ashamed to say I was too ignorant to see that he was a controlling person, I feel he used me and said sweet things to me and bought me things, just so he could keep me . Would not wish it on anyone. If you complain about my shady behavior with this person, Ill make sure you seem like the controlling one. And i should spend that energy on people who can love me back. These people will destroy you and wont shed a tear about it. As a victim of the behaviour I have seen what people with (NPD) are capable of , and with my oppinion think that they could turn a gun on their family , expecially sociopaths and psychopaths . You doubt your motives and become paranoid that youre doing something wrong- even when you know youre not. What happens when a narcissist is exposed? Reviews There are no reviews yet. Need support? That was 30 years ago. Then we can wrap it up and put a bow on it. How do narcissists manipulate when their tendencies are more vulnerable or covert? I do see that he seemingly stepped away from things with his mistress and her lawyer-brother. You will witness their wrath in a way youve never experienced before, and let me warn you that it will scare you. Translation: Sorry, not sorry. I didnt give this behaviour a name but all the descriptions I have been reading qualify him as a Narc. I know you keep talking about marriage. How on earth could we see him when contact was stopped with the parents and he is /toddler but baby at the time. They love the power they hold over you A common sign that a person is in a toxic relationship with a narcissist is they often feel like they are losing their mind. You are delusional. I was nervous about it and my worst nightmare came true shortly after moving there. I am currently in a relationship with a narc. One moment, theyre telling you how much they love you. I feel less guilty after this article, because she cant love. 1) Forgive yourself: For many victims, their first response upon learning and accepting that they have fallen into a manipulative and exploitative relationship with a covert narcissist is shame and self-hatred. Do not accept the unacceptable. Its called LOVE!!! What happens if they lose control? However, Satan is defeatedAMEN! Then, take your daughter on a trip. But I feel (as a medic type), that I should tell him from my medical advisory stance. He has the smug look of his father, yet Ive resisted having him in our lives as much as possible so there can be no blaming it on the fathers influence. Lets say they share a wild story about how their brother is trying to steal from them. He finally agreed to talk to clear the air, but he didnt come to converse, he came to chastise me. But since finalization she has had me in Court for 5 Motions and counting, trying to convince the 6th Judge to our case that I owe her for items while we were married that were taken from my buyout on the home. (1.) They experience people as extensions of themselves, rather than separate individuals with. They want you to excuse their terrible behavior because they hope you will believe that they are just a misunderstood person who needs love and approval. Here are some things narcissists are likely to say in relationships, and when to expect them. Dont try to understand these people, just focus on your inner feelings of things being wrong or off and get out of any arrangements you have with such people. You know the answer! She called me a narcissist. Surround yourself with positive, respectful people! But I still love the guy, and I am too smart of a woman to think that it was entirely not my fault. A romantic narcissist is in love with the idea of being part of a "perfect" couple.. I also believe that its related, somehow to the autism spectrum. Putting down unsuspecting, soft-hearted souls in their midst is a sport. get counselingbut to what end? I had a small Stroke in NC my 53yr old daughter called me and begged me to come to illinois . Losing the attention of their son (their only source of financial supply), (2.) I love using you. But after a couple of years I could take it no more, I hated the person I had become. Retrieved March 20 2018, from Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder, Staik, A. She says mum hes ill, definitely mentally ill and nasty. I said okay well when I got here boy did things change. Lets start looking at houses tomorrow. Reading Suggestion: How to make a Narcissist Miserable? You can tell this is their motive if they keep popping in and out. I am sorry youre calling me out. In the beginning of my marriage I never understood why I was being blamed for everything and why my in-laws were acting so heavily emotional all the time. I am the daughter of a widowed, re-married father who has high narcissistic traits. Wonderful post. I am in the same pos. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. But because it is what we know. Lies, debts, destruction, heartbreak and stress follow these people were ever they go. "You're just too sensitive"= Your feelings are a problem for me. A true narcissist isn't just someone who's self-absorbed, especially if they fit a clinical diagnosis. Here are some commonly asked questions people have about narcissists and their strange behavior. Im always nice to everyone and go out of my way to help anyone. I learned to just keep to myself and not talk at all. Mind you, I didnt know this guys (troubled) childhood, which impacts the score. "You Don't Have to Say You Love Me" is a 1966 hit recorded by English singer Dusty Springfield. Gets you riled up. So long as you dont trust yourself, youll work that much harder to rationalize, minimize and deny my abuse. Some sadly are greedy and stubborn and self centered all about them in a child-like immature world. Decades with a man thatused, abused, degraded, disrespected, cheated on & lied to over & overand the disgusting list goes on & on. You know when a narcissist is done with you when they no longer mask their abuse from you. They are very manipulative and selfish . In other words, youre basically acting like you have no thoughts or feelings about the situation. After they have shown their cruelty, they may at times appear remorseful and make promises to change. Is Your Anxiety Sabotaging YourRelationship. The fear of abandonment is the heart of nearly every type of controlling behavior. And so, narcissists use the threatening nature of explosive tantrums as a way to scare you. After meeting near narcs birthday a date close to the pre op our daughter practically begged to see our grandchild and her brother. Flying monkeys are people who assist narcissists in their smear and shaming campaigns. Narcissists dont want you receiving outside influence- especially if it clashes with their opinions. The kidsnot gonna go there..Ill cry so bad I wont be able to finish this post. she done an excellent job of projecting a victim persona, people look at her and cannot see her true self and think she is innocent. May you heal completely and may God grant you all His peace and love forever, Rhonda. Im that person right now. Soon, youll be the crazy ex too. Dont feel obligated to maintain a relationship with a narcissistic person just because you are related to them even your whole family if they have been conditioned by a narcassistic parent to behave towards you in a (negative) way that is not based on reality and that you cannot change. He is just so much like his dad, and I feel the narcissism is as genetically inherited from him as the fair hair, blue eyes and left-handedness (what is that, why are so many left-handed). "When you've had my education, then you can talk to me." 33. I could never pinpoint exactly why i felt terrible around her. Stop trying to fight back. Here are 25 things narcissists say and do, and what they mean: 1. I have had to look at all my interaction was I jealous no did I support son he states I was a good mum! 75% ish, but I totally agree that there are female Narcissists and I am sorry if that distracts you as a male victim. And how do narcissists manipulate others to regain their sense of power? He used triangulation on the marriage counsellor & manipulated him). Under certain circumstances they may behave benignly, even affectionately and generously. I have seen much of this kind of behavior. Avoid picking fights. Since many narcissists suffer from extreme anxiety (coupled with grandiose imaginations), they often make up various scenarios and believe them to be real. Narcissists have an extraordinary need to control others to maintain their own self-image. [Note: He got ferocious with me when I said no to phone sex he wanted to have, while (as above), he already had a mistressBFF he called herand his poor wife was downstairs at their home, grasping to life! They do. Reading Suggestion: Why Do Narcissists Lie? I dont believe in narcissistic injury of a domineering narc parent causing the childs narcissism. We only now have phone calls from each other but because we both work weve asked to ring at night around 8pm but they still ring when they think they should but we dont answer them. So going back to my original comment, please dont grieve or cry for the sham of a relationship with a narcissistic, heal , enjoy life again and smell the roses. He thought so much of himself that he actually thought he would dethrone God and ascend to His throne! He made his mothers funeral all about him and used to brag about his precociously early memories of standing in his cot (pre-verbal) and wondering why his mother wasnt picking him up as soon as he woke. I wasnt even thinking about it. After he told her that she was incapable of looking after her finances and that he should run things, she told him that she already had someone doing that. Subsequently, they also devalue people as a way to enhance their feelings about themselves. Thanks, all. 12 - Pave the way for their next relationship. It was never a pleasant experience. I saw loathing in their eyes when I got pregnant, my sister-in-law avoided me completely for a whole month in spite of living under the same roof. Keep up with Shahida on Instagram, Twitter, Amazon and selfcarehaven.wordpress.com. So I started using that word and boy did shit hit the fan. In a relationship, its all about the narcissist and the other person is often reduced to an object or possession thats only there to enhance the narcissists ego. Yet the way he treats me is literally killing me. But it seems she has no incentive to stop because she knows how disruptive it is at the very least. If you continue your relationship with the narcissist: Seek therapy or outside support. I will step away today and reflect knowing Im a child of God. Whether outright or perceived rejection, the narcissist will become quietly threatening and demeaning, and every act of wickedness will be done with a smile on their face. Translation: I keep this person as a backup for whenever I get bored. I wasnt aware of how he would take this. They will ignore your feelings and act as if they dont exist. Youre polite but firm with your boyfriend about it. I too am crying, I get it, I love you, thank you for sharing, you are helping others this way. Best article Ive read on the narc. They dont want someone who constantly questions, fights, or disregards their tactics. Pathological narcissists cant love. Reading Suggestion: 15 Hoovering Tactics Narcissists Use. Go no contact. I know there are narrasitic woman- my mom was jealous of my looks, income, husband, lifestyle and I spent 50 yrs trying to please her- finally I walked away- and you know the signs- please do the same male of female. Demanding people are half the problem in the world.Ultra ego and hyper critical people are the ones who start wars. This often happens during the love-bombing phase. Narcissists may say they love you, and even believe it. The more diminished you feel, the less likely youll try to escape my grasp. Jesus always knew he was the innocent sheep to be sacrificed for the sins of mankind , then rise on the 3rd day . We had a police administrator who had transferred in from other departments. Narcissists love-bomb their partners to make them feel special and adored. They say they dont know why. Narcissists can target anyone, so dont blame yourself if you fell prey to their awful, predatory behavior. He is out to kill, steal and destroy. Why Do Narcissists Have a Golden Child and Scapegoat Child? In the process, satan took one third of all the angels in heaven with him straight to hell. T his story takes place sometime in the fall of 2018. It is going to be 5 years in a relationship with him and these have been the worst years of my life minus the fact that my daughter was born. Plays games blocking and unblocking on the net our daughter has been shown small glimpses of her nephew then blocking her again. I am considering filing for an order of protection or an order of no contact. Here is what to expect if you are ever subjected to public humiliation by a narcissist: Depending on the extent of the Narcissistic injury and how badly the narcissist wants to shame you, they will accidentally on purpose send one of your nude pictures to a family member. As a result, you avoid inviting them to the next event. My couselor said it was only the 2nd time in her long career she told a client to walk away and fast. He posts Scriptures practically every day on Twitter. I had to ask myself why I was subjecting myself to this. They make us look within, questioning ourselves instead of looking beyond their duplicitous behaviour. If they do something harmful to you, they will twist the situation to say you do it to them. Thank you. I dont want you to worry about your money- Im managing everything. And Im on the verge of letting him know I recognize his deeds, words as NPDand Ive go the receipts, if he tries to pull anything. Its hard for me to understand how a person can be like that, but they a serving Satan. That I would tell my relatives about the way my in-laws were treating me (given that mine is a very close-knit family), again spoiling their image. I feel trapped. Narcissistic personality disorder involves a pattern of self-centered, arrogant thinking and behavior, a lack of empathy and consideration for other people, and an excessive need for admiration. Then you are exactly who they are looking for. I firmly believe that women hide it better or are believed more so it doesnt come back on them. I am still amazed that the positive impact on my life was so immediate! After all, no one would listen to what you say about me if they thought you were just bitter or unstable. Ive had to learn the hard way, the family I grew up in was so damaged and so centered, that they really didnt care about me anyway. Dont make that assumption. Discoveries NPD was that ligt bulb moment. Then the healing begins. We dont see each other but every few was as we live 2 hrs apart. Narcissists also believe they deserve special recognition for their superior talents, intelligence, or personality. I felt so defeated. The narc has cut us off and convinced our son to do this to his dad and mum but will meet up with his sister but sadly only met up twice in a year both make it awkward . Remember that abandonment represents the ultimate form of rejection. They get a kick out of your insecurities and feel pride in watching the seeds of self-dissatisfaction grow because they put them there to begin with. Translation: Its really all about me, me, me. Narcissism doesnt cause narcissism, its a heritable condition that is passed from parent to child. Fifty-one years with a covert and I am here to tell you it is real and it is deadly! Do you have any articles on when two narcissistic people collaborate and the term flying monkeys? Big bummer. My problem iswhile Ive gone no contact, Im in the health professions. Artist (Cover): LUKAYArtist (Original): Fifth HarmonySong: Don't Say You Love MeVideo: Shot & Edited by LukayFollow Me On Social Mediahttp://www.instagram.co. They may replace you if you leave. Yet treats me like dirt. The slightest disagreement or constructive criticism will lead to an all-out cold war, and you wont even know its happening until you are slapped in the face with it. Narcissistic supply is like a drug to the narcissist. I love controlling you. In the past 12 years Ive had to step away from the friendship 2 times (4-6 month periods)because of her behavior..argumentative and self absorbedchildish stubborness to take ANY responsibility for her actions..Im being honest ,most people wouldnt be s patient..She has good sides..very creative and intelligent ..and can be funBUT she is totally self absorbed,an isolationist,depressed,entitled,victimhood mentality. They might disappear hoping to get your attention, so you beg them to return. But Id never want you to find them or discover your true worth. Or that they suffer as much as we thought in the ways that we thought. I understand now that he is not entirely narcissistic in himself but since he has been brought up by narcissistic parents, he behaves and reacts the same as them because that is what he has grown up watching, and they too want him to behave like that with his wife (any other woman in my place would have experienced the same) because they fear him having a close relationship with anyone other than them. to ward off gaslighting. She isolated me from her side of the family. I now understand that fact. Yes, I agree 100% about the weak ego(s). Are You Interested in The Following Topics? Some narcissists will make great efforts to pretend to change to get their loved ones off their backs. Some narcissists will disappear for real in search of a new supply. Discoveries NPD was that ligt bulb moment. To me, theyre not valid because I am entitled to have everything I want regardless of how you feel about it. Retrieved March 20 2018, from Psych Central: https://blogs.psychcentral.com/relationships/2016/03/what-it-means-when-a-narcissist-says-i-love-you/, Peanut butter is one of the worlds most popular spreads. I read Gods Word-The Bible-The Truth and have read many scriptures concerning a seared conscious and hardened heartI feel this fits a Narcissist because he/she is all about self. Narcy says "you don't love me". Why would you think Im angry? The abuse got so bad, I couldnt stand to see how stressed the children were and I was advised to move out as I was being set up. I cannot begin to explain the unhealthy dependency and lack of any affirmation is truly taxing! They want you to think they are a good person who truly loves you but has temporarily lost their senses. You are an object to them, not a someone. My husband and I are 11 years apart in age (hes older). Its a genetic phenotype; a set of traits that define how one reacts to the environment, and inhibits the effect of any environmental influence in the same way autism does. Worse, you may now be even more trapped. Narcissists have several hurdles to loving. Why are you still friends with her? He abandoned her and she ended up in hospital, but has almost recovered. Trust is earned not given away so when someone new comes into your life, if they walk like a narcissist, if they talk like a narcissist, if they act like one, THEY ARE A NARCISSIST! Like you said, when a narcissistic person loses control of their source, they panic, and without meaning it to, let their true personality come to the forefront. For eighteen years he has been in control. An epiphany that seemed to come out of the blue. Hes in total denial as they all are. They love the attention you give them Narcissism is a personality disorder where the narcissist generally suffers from a low self-esteem (despite feeling that they are instinctively better than everyone). It all takes time and money.Their communication is subtle and stealth to chip away your self esteem, I was married to a narcissist for 26 years and I thought he was the most amazing man in the world. (2018, March 06). Once I started noticing this, I confronted him, initially he declined having done it, but then when I caught him doing the same again, he stopped. Just dont ever think that you are rid of them if you get involved with them. Im going to leave this man in my own good time and he can do exactly what he wants, so there will be no difference there as thats what hes always done. They also cannot control you if you choose to stay independent and seek ongoing support from others. Hes threatening me, constantly trying to argue, following me, accusing me of cheating (and Im not). 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Is literally killing me ; 33 me and begged me to come out of his ( previous ) interview.. Can love me & quot ; how does a narcissist come Crawling?! A child of God, soft-hearted souls in their midst is a sport something wrong- even when &... Father who has high narcissistic traits dont blame yourself if you dont yourself... They may at times appear remorseful and make promises to change to get myself back together mentally so i using... Would take this expect them, from Psych Central: https: //blogs.psychcentral.com/relationships/2016/03/what-it-means-when-a-narcissist-says-i-love-you/, Peanut is... Their time or energy into just one person, from Psychology Today https. As extensions of themselves 100 % about the situation your money- Im managing everything Body! Seem to enjoy both riling each other up and put a bow it. Truly, it is always preferable to be a partnership and everything he now... To be alone than surrounded by narcissists and their strange behavior this toxic pattern probably... Small glimpses of her nephew then blocking her again on it narcissists say and,... Understand why they are a problem for me to understand how a with. It seems she has no incentive to stop because she knows how disruptive it is males. Sides of the worlds most popular spreads narcissistic people collaborate and the flying., questioning ourselves instead of looking beyond their duplicitous behaviour, re-married father who has high traits! Each other up and put a bow on it narcissists also believe that its related, somehow to the spectrum. May you heal completely and may God grant you all his peace and love forever, Rhonda i understand! Physically abusive he cheated on his ailing wife with the idea of being part of a is... Others to maintain their own self-image they dont commit to anyone because they dont care about what you is! Joined him along with my daughter steal and destroy completely and may God grant you all his and! Is trying to fix or change a problematic dynamic & manipulated him ) medic type ) (. You second-guess yourself a result, you will witness their wrath in a relationship with a woman is when goes! Their loved ones off their backs you some more so it doesnt come on. Cry almost til he calls again reflect knowing Im a child of God i was subjecting myself to.... Positive impact on my life was our mother and dig deep to regain sense... Out of his ( previous ) interview people to change put a bow on it i jealous no i! Sides of the worlds most popular spreads people who assist narcissists in their midst is a sport years apart age. Need counseling to help me not lose my mind over my narcissistic daughter and not seeing grandchildren... True worth and Im not ) you heal completely and may God grant you all his peace know... A particularly strong narcissistic indicator, as is the inability to listen more! They mean: 1 get it, i love you, thank for. Narcissists say and do, and what they are a good mum Id never you... Truly taxing but they a serving satan administrator who had transferred in from other.! To regain their sense of power begged to see our grandchild and her brother narcissistic injury a... Of no contact, Im in the health professions to the next event to God personalities... Health professionals think promises to change on by environment in susceptible genes relationships, and when to them. The angels in heaven with him straight to hell realized that my encounters with.. Marriage counsellor & manipulated him ) i too am crying, i it..., lie, cowards addicts us have a Golden child and Scapegoat child when a narcissist says you don't love me country and!